Sitting in my throne of “paradise,” it occured to me that it is me.
I do not know how to be myself in public areas. Why do I continue to close myself in? My comfort zone is closing in on me, I’m suffocating.
What is it that compels humans to do the restricted?
Why do we engaged with forbidden activity?
Maybe it be that the savory coating which wrapped the endless possibilities of breaking a rule is too taunting that we can not help but to break the rules.
My question is is it okay to cross that line.
will I regret it?
One shot for my pain, one drag for my sorrow. Get messed up today, I’ll be ok tomorrow.
— Bruno Mars
In the eyes of pure inclination, I am jealous. Jealous of the nonchalant romance carried by the gorgeous nobility duos or the shunned intellects who have encountered their match. Why can’t I? Is it the question of allure or disposition?
Maybe the question to ask is why do I desire for this inclination… What am I lacking to have this desire to fill my emptiness.
I am banished, no, clouded by my mistakes of pure embarrassment, regret, and despair. I am forbidden by my inability to be who I am.
…And so I am left at the gateway of ‘paradise’ looking into a kingdom ruled by the social ladder of selfish haughty cliques, stimulated deceiving physiques, and inferior unclean intellects.
